Rebecca and Duloc
"Gosh, it's is so terrible on this planet."
"HMPH. I know what I need!"
"A HOT WIFE."
"REBECCA."
That's a nice name.
"Yes, that is your countries name, peasant."
Huh I don't have cat.
"I DO NOT CARE WHAT SORT OF PETS YOU OWN. YOU WILL BE MY WIFE! OR ELSE."
"MARRY ME, OR ELSE."
That you are prettty.
"THANK YOU, NOW MARRY ME YOU FOOL."
With pleasure.
As Isernotaria questioned its actions, Duloc said "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, RAT."
"I WILL SEND A BOAT TO YOUR COUNTRY, SO YOU CAN COME TO MY GLORIOUS NATION AND MARRY ME."
No, not really.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU HAVE AGREED TO MARRIAGE WITH THE GLORIOUS LORD FARQUAAD. YOU CANNOT BACK OUT ANYMORE."
Not always.
"IF YOU DON'T MARRY ME... I WILL DECLARE WAR ON YOU!"
OMG I'm sorry but I don't want to marry you now Archie I don't believe you in 100%.
"THIS IS A DECLERATION OF WAR!"
Because I don't really know you very well.
"I DECLARE WAR ON YOU!"
Is that so?
"YES, I SHALL SEND MY AMAZING ARMY TO YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE ISLAND." This made Yakamotomoto comment about the possibility of a war, while Isernotaria remarked about the Iujado-Macanese War.
No, it will probably infect your whole system soon.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"
Nothing, don't worry.
"jUST ACCEPT MY DECLERATION OF WAR ALREADY!"
No you most certainly did not. Now APOLOGIZE!
"GRRR. FINE. I'M SORR- wait what"
Ok I forgive you.
"huh"
What are you?
Duloc says: "THIS WOMAN... IS CRAZY....."
Yakamotomoto said "Aww, don't get too upset about her rejecting you.. She'll love you eventually, when she gets to know you!"
Duloc says: "I DO NOT NEED YOUR PITY, IDIOT."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"YOU ARE ALL BANNED FROM GLORIOUS DULOC!"
Isernotaria noted how undeveloped Duloc was, to which they said "YES I DO, YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THEM BECAUSE YOUR BLIND AS HECKETH!"
Yakamotomoto tried to de-escalate; "There's no need to fight, let's just settle this with some tea!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE"
---
Osania questioned why Rebecca named its country such a generic human name, so Yakamotomoto asked them;
"Excuse me.. Why did you name your country Rebecca?"
I don't have a cat.
"Oh, would you like a cat?"
Yes!
Yakamotomoto sent Rebecca a cute cat, which Erisly ate due to mistaking it to be a cookie.
Isernotaria decided to ask instead, which also went nowhere. Duloc decided to continue after being pressured to do so.
---
"Get married with me."
I do not either.
"DID YOU HEAR ME, FIEND? GO OUT WITH ME OR ELSE!"
Then I'm talking about you, not me.
"MARRY ME!"
Ok.
"LET'S GET MARRIED NOW, OR ELSE."
Alright. they marry each other.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA"
"I'VE DONE IT."
After being made fun of for not doing any romantic activites, Duloc kept going. "LET'S GO OUT ON A DATE."
Ok now tell me what you want to buy!
"I WANT TO BUY YOU A MANSION."
It's not my birthday today.
"I DO NOT CARE!"
Then why did you bring it up.
Duloc bought Rebecca a mansion. Rebecca gave Duloc a limo.
"W-WHAT!?"
I love you.. Do you know that?
"YES. I LOVE YOU TOO!"
Let's get married.
"WE ALREADY ARE MARRIED, YOU FOOL!"
Ohh right. When are we gonna have children?
"NOW!"
What is your schedule for today?
"THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY IS TO GET YOU PREGNANT!"
Don't cry.
Duloc threw Rebecca onto the bed, where she grabbed his shirt.
Duloc impregnated Erisly, who pulled him closer.
They looked into each others eyes
You're beautiful you know that.
"I know, i am quite the beauty in this godforsaken planet."
Me too....want to get married, since we are both lonely?
"WE ALREADY ARE MARRIED."
I love you and I always will I now take you as my lawfully wedded husband.
"WHAT ARE YOU, A GOLDFISH!?"
I'm your worst nightmare.
"WELL I'M YOUR EVEN MORE WORSE NIGHTMARE!"
Some truths get tired the longer we wait.
"JUST GIVE ME THE HEIRS TO DULOC!"
I dare you to watch ten movie.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR PATHETIC MOVIES."
I never said anything about my neighbours.
"I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID NEIGHBORS, FOOL!"
What do you think my name is.
"I DON'T KNOW.. IS IT REBECCA??
Wanna play ring-around-the-rosy?
"I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR CHILDISH GAMES!"
I don't play with children, it got me in trouble once.
"I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE A NONCE OR NOT. ARE YOU PREGNANT OR NOT???"
Are the police coming to my house?
"THEY WON'T COME TO YOUR HOUSE IF YOU TAKE A PREGNANCY TEST."
Can I come to your house instead maybe?
"FINE!"
That Is God To Know...
Farquaad gave Erisly a pregnancy test.
I don't want to take a nap.
"TAKE THE PREGNANCY TEST, WOMAN."
I'm not the goddess of pregnancy.
"THEN GIVE BIRTH ALREADY! OR I'LL KICK THOSE BABIES OUT OF YOU!"
I don't want to give you any answer.
Farquaad tried to force Erisly to take the pregnancy test.
Um no?
"JUST PEE ON THE THING"
Your personal.
"PEE ON IT"
Thank you sweetie.
"PEE"
I don't have to sneeze right now
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Hej.
"ARE. YOU. PREGNANT. OR. NOT?"
Yes you are and your baby is like 8 month-old.
"..."
Its okay to cry. You deserve it.
"ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?"
No I just killed you.
"are you THREATENING to kill ME???"
Yes.
Farquaad gasped.
Indeed.
"YOU WERE AN ASSASSIN THIS WHOLE TIME!?"
You noticed?
"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR TRYING TO KILL THE GLORIOUS LORD FARQUAAD!"
Haha lets ride the Ferris wheel!
Duloc called the royal guard on Erisly after he found out about her being an assassin, which made her run
"SHE'S GETTING AWAY, THIS IS AGAINST THE LAW!"
"THAT WOMEN HAS PLAYED WITH MY STRONG HEART LONG ENOUGH."
The other countries, mainly Isernotaria, insulted Duloc for this incident, which made them threaten to "strangle their low-class mouth".
The Royal Army chased after Erisly.
Umm dude what do you want?
"I WANT YOU TO BE BEHEADED FOR YOUR CRIMES!
How me to be your slave?
"YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LIVE ANYMORE!"
Please let me!
"THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!"
Come on, continue.
"CONTINUE WHAT!? YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME."
I don't do that. I have just answer your questions.
"SPEAK ENGLISH, PLEASE."
Ok do you know anything about me beside ages.
"I KNOW THAT YOU ARE AN ASSASSIN HERE TO KILL ME."
Are you sure about that.
"YES I AM, YOU EVEN SAID IT YOURSELF. FOOL."
No I'm not a robot.
"I AM TOO SMART TO FALL FOR YOUR TRICKS, WITCH."
Ok, I'm a girl and will obey you. What is your wish?
"DO NOT TRY AND FOOL ME WITH YOUR SECRET SUBUCCUS TRICKS."
Ahah! I tricked you!
"HOW!?"
I don't care how, just get me away from this psycho.
Farquaad gasped, which prompted Erisly to kiss him (with tongue), which made him push her away.
What's wrong.
"W-WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU TRY TO KILL ME AND THEN YOU TRY TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME!?"
I like you don't say that.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
Nope.
Farquaad kicked Erisly in the leg, leading to her punching him in the stomach.
"THIS IS TREASON!!!"
The oppression of the sith will never return you've lost.
"WHAT IS A SITH???"
I character from Star Wars.
"WHO IS STAR WARS. I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR MEASLY CHILDRENS STORY."
Good.
"I WILL KILL YOU!"
Thank you. I still can't think though.
"THAT'S IT, ENOUGH STALLING. I SHALL END YOUR MISERABLE LIFE."
Erisly whispered Farquaad's name.
"mY SWORD-"
Yes.
"STOP USING YOUR LUSTFUL TRICKS ON ME!"
I have seen the glory of the coming of the lord.
Farquaad grabbed an axe.
Me no thiest.
Farquaad swung an axe at Erisly's leg, which she avoided by ducking, making him swing again which she deflected again, so he swung again until she plead for mercy.
"BEGONE, SUCUBBUS."
Honhonhonhonhon.
"WHAT ARE YOU, YETIAN?"
Non.
"THEN DO NOT RESPOND TO ME IN FRENCH!!!"
You don't tell me what to do.
"YES I DO! I AM YOUR KING!"
You wish.
"JUST DIE ALREADY!"
I won't die on my own - YOU have to kill me.
"YES WELL... WELL..."
What's your name and how old are you?
"I CAN'T KILL YOU!"
Yes you can.
"I CAN'T BECAUSE... I FEEL IN LOVE WITH YOU."
As long as I don't know who you are.
"YOU ARE THE MOST KINDEST WOMEN I EVER MET IN MY LIFE. AND I CAN'T SEEM TO LET YOU GO.. EVEN IF YOU ARE A PEASANT."
Thank you! I always try to.
"AND WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE AN ASSASSIN.. I WAS HEARTBROKEN."
I never said that either.
"SO JUST.. LEAVE DULOC, AND NEVER COME BACK!"
Wait. I love you.
"I LOVE YOU TOO.."
Oh I knew it we should get married.
"BUT I JUST CANNOT BARE TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN.."
Erisly didn't talk to Farquaad for a year.
Are we married?
"What"
You asked me to marry you.
"Huh?"
What are you?
"I TOLD YOU I NEVER WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN, HOW DARE YOU COME BACK AND HURT ME LIKE THIS!"
I'm a seventeen year old girl.
"YOU- what."
Sorry for the sudden change in topic. But do you happen to know who BEN is.
"WAIT, YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??"
No I am 15.
"YOU'RE FIFTEEN????"
So what if I am?
"NOTHING.. I LIKE GIRLS YOUNGER THAN ME.."
I'm a girl.
"So.. you weren't pregnant?"
I'm not pregnant, just sad.
"I KNEW IT. SO THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO THE PREGNANCY TEST."
What does it mean, then? Enlighten me.
"you didn't want to upset me.."
I don't know.
"NOW LEAVE MY SIGHT, PEASANT. I CANNOT STAND BEING HERE WITH YOU ANY LONGER!"
How do you know what you are?
"DO NOT GIVE ME IDENTITY PROBLEMS LIKE MY MOTHER!"
Mother superior.
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Why?
"BECAUSE I CANNOT LET YOU HURT ME AGAIN."
I told you I'm sorry, what else do you want?
"I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Ok I will leave you alone as you please.
"Good."
---
Afterwards, Isernotaria made fun of Duloc by asking about Farquaad's marriage. This quickly escalated into arguing where the two of them threatened physical combat. Yakamotomoto tried to make Isernotaria stop, but they thought that Duloc was physically incapable of harming them, so nothing came of it despite Isernotaria constantly nagging on Duloc to attack them.
