My Unforgettable Foe
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Chapter 1
Tank says: "Ugh this Elmo thing is stupid. Because of them I'M HOMELESS IN SOME RANDOM NATION I DON'T KNOW THE LANGUAGE OF"
Tank goes to a random apple store and googles cheap houses on one of the computers on
uh
sale
ye
anyway
Tank finds a cheap house for sale :flushed:
Tank says: "WOAH THIS HOUSE COSTS 500 RUBLES :smirk_cat:!"
"AND IT'S IN... Nakmai.."
"."
"."
"."
Tank decides to look at houses in Sizzle but they all cost way too much
Tank says: "Maybe I should just go to Nakmai.."
"WAIT"
"NO"
"THEY'RE COMMIES"
"I CAN'T START LIVING IN A COMMUNIST NATION"
Everybody awkwardly stares at Tank shouting at himself
Tank says: "But.. It's so cheap.."
".."
"NO. I'M A KING!! I CAN'T LIVE IN SOME UGLY OLD COMMIE HOUSE :rage:"
Tank says: "Wait even if I go to Nakmai I can't speak ... whatever their commie language is"
"wait.."
Tank googles Nakmai official languages
Tank says: "Most Nakmaians know english?.. I mean.. I know a little bit of english i guess I could communicate with them-"
"NO"
"NO"
"COMMUNISM IS BAD"
"i HATE COMMUNISM"
"I HBET THEY'RE ALL ORPHANS ANYWAY"
"buti'mstarvingandIbarelyhaveanymoneyforahotel"
Tank says: "OKAY FINE I'LL GO TO NAKMAI"
Tank looks at the cheapest way to get there
Tank says: "Walking."
".."
Tank says: "Fine. I guess I'll WALK to the stupid COMMIE NATION"
Tank starts following that path
the path u made
Oh but before tank leaves
he steals an iphone
and runs off
because he's better than everybody else and he deserves a free iphone
20 days later
Tank gets to uh
school village i know the name of thanpho i think
in Nakmai
Tank is starving, cold, thirsty and tired
Tank says: "I should've have just stayed in Sizzle"
"there was no need for somebody like me to walk to this disgusting nation."
Somebody walks up to Tank
??? says: "Bạn gỏi lắm? Bạn trông xấu xa lol "
Tank says: "."
"what? (in english to be specific haha)"
??? says: "Oh you don't speak vietnamese lmao"
"Should've guessed so, since you look white"
Tank says: ":eye::eye:"
??? says: "Anyway you look like you're about to die from hunger. want me to buy some food for you"
Tank says: "Uh... Sure..."
??? takes Tank to some fancy sushi restaurant
??? says: "Order anything you want. I'm kind of a big deal in Nakmai so I'm rich lol"
Tank says: "Rich?"
??? says: "NO COORROPTION HERE"
"NO CORRUPTION"
"TRUST ME"
"TRUST ME"
"ANYWAY"
"JUST ORDER ANYTHING YOU WANT"
"MY TREAT"
Tank says: "Okay commie :rolling_eyes:"
??? says: "Anyway my name is An what's your name :zany_face:"
Tank says: "A commie like you doesn't deserve to know my name."
An says: "Uh okay then."
Tank orders everything on the menu
An says: "While we are waiting for all the food you ordered.. What happened to you :rofl:"
"Are you a left-over Luxurian Soldier or something :rolling_eyes: "
"Actually wait you accent doesn't sound Luxurian.."
Tank says: "..."
static starts comming from tank's jacket or whatever he has on
"jhiweriuh"
Tank takes out the radio and puts it on the table"
An says: "What"
"Why do you have a radio"
the radio looks incredibally old
as if it was from the 30s or 40s (yat years)
An says: "It looks hella old too"
"Wait.. are you a time traveller from the past? :flushed: "
Tank says: "SHUT UP"
An says: "Woah okay calm down :rolling_eyes:"
The purification of the west shall commence soon. You may see our brave warriors of the lord preparing for the purification at the city of Salekhard. The glimmer shall be extinguished. Stay in tune, Do not turn off your radio.
An says: "What"
An says: "What did the first part say?"
Tank says: "The same thing it said in English :rolling_eyes: "
"God you're so stupid"
An says: "Okay"
"Wait so what's the radio even talking about"
"Purification?"
Tank says: "The Elmo cult sent me this radio. It talks about everything the Elmo Cult is going to do :rolling_eyes: :raised_back_of_hand:"
"Purification is unimportant"
An says: "Okay then"
Tanks 29832 orders finally come
An says: "wait"
"Elmo cult sent you this?"
Tank says: "It's actual name is Abyysky. Though I doubt a stupid commie like you would know"
An says: "Ohhh them"
An says: "."
"Wait are you from Abyssky :flushed:?"
Tank says: "GOD NO"
"I was the king of Yamalia."
An says: "Oh"
"Did you take your medications this morning?"
Tank says: "."
"I'M NOT LYING"
"I'M THE KING OF YAMALIA"
An says: "Sure sure"
Tank angrily eats the Sushi
An googles leaders of Yamalia and sees Tank on one of the images
Anyway after Tank finishes eating the sushi they leave the restaurant since it's night already
An says: "So uhh"
"Do you have a place to stay?"
Tank says: "..."
"OBVIOUSLY :rage: I'M THE GREAT KING OF YAMALIA :triumph:"
An says: "Oh okay then, goodbye :zany_face:"
An starts to leave
Tank says: "."
Tank starts to follow An
An stops
Tank says: "Uh.. My house is that way too.."
An says: "oh okay :zany_face:
An starts walking to his home and Tank follows behind
After a while An finally gets to his house
An says: ".."
"You don't have a house."
Tanks says: "I DO"
"JUST BECAUSE YOU COMMIES ARE BROKE AND DON'T HAVE HOUSES TO GO TO DOESN'T MEAN I'M THE SAME!"
An says: "."
"I'll leave the door open"
An goes inside his house
Tank is too stubborn to go inside An's house so he sits outside of it and listens to the radio
Join us, citizens. It is time for the warriors of the lord to spread the shadows. Observe their exit. Observe the shimmer being extinguished. Stay in tune, Do not turn off your radio
The graveyard has been entered into our holy order.
Autonomy of Luvamatrilia has been abolished.
Purification shall commence.
Marcus Markus Alexander says: "aw that sucks :cry:"
"Ig i'll go chill with aunt susie for a bit"
Marcus Markus Alexander disappears into the ground
Tank is still too stubborn to go inside An's house
Tank says: "Wait I shouldn't sit outside his house :rage: Then he'll ACTUALLY think I have no house!
Tank says: "..."
"..."
"..."
Tank sees the lights in An's house get turned off :zany_face:
Tank says: "So he's going to sleep i presume :triumph:?"
"The AUDACITY of him :rage:"
Tank starts to fall asleep
Tank says: "the audacity.. of this man.. this.. zzzzzzzzzzz"
He falls asleep lol !!!
The next morning :punch::raised_back_of_hand:
Tank wakes up
on a couch
Tank says: "..."
"IUOW3ERHUOIWERHUWOEYIGRWEUYORGWEURYG"
"HOW DARE I BE KIDNAPPED"
Tank falls off the couch
Tank stressfully gets up and starts to look around
Tank says: "This better not be karma for all the orphans I sent to the mines :rage:"
An walks into the room
An says: "Good morning :zany_face:"
Tank says: ".."
"YOU"
"KIDNAPPED ME"
"THE AUDACITY!?!?!?!?!"
"WHEN I GET YAMALIA BACK YOU WILL GET THE DEATH PENALTY"
An says: "Lol I don't think that's how it works :rofl:"
"Anywayyyy"
Tank notices the news
Tank says: "Luvama..trilia..."
"Who.... OH. THE WEIRDOS NEXT DOOR :rolling_eyes:"
"UGH, I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE OVER THEM :rage:"
An says: ":cry: bro you had like a decade to invade them"
Tank says: "I WAS PREPARING"
An says: "PREPARING FOR WHAT :sob: THE GHOSTS TO HAUNT YOU?"
"Anyway that's beside the point"
"I made 20 vegan tacos by accident"
"want some :heart_eyes:"
Tank says: "Vegan? What are you, Gay?"
An says: "What does being a vegan have to do with being gay :sob:"
Tank says: "Real men eat meat :rolling_eyes:"
An says: "Okay then"
"ig you'll have to just starve"
An goes to eat his 20 vegan tacos he made by accident
Chapter 2
1 Hour later or something
An walks back into his living room after finishing his 20 vegan tacos he made by accident.
And he notices that Tank is still in his living room for some reason :sob:???
An says: "tbh I thought you would've left by now :skull:"
"But if you wanna stay you can stay I don't mind"
Tank says: "I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE :rolling_eyes: I'm just.. on facation in your house :triumph:"
An says: "You're on vacation in my house got it :heart_eyes:"
Tank says: "Annoying :rolling_eyes:"
omw to come up with interesting scenarios
An says: "Oh yeah, I wanna give you something"
Tank says: "Don't. :smiley:"
An hands Tank some money
Tank says: "..."
"Are you trying to insult me?"
An says: "No? If you don't want the money then I'll just-"
Tank grabs the money out of An's hands :zany_face:
An says: "anywayyyyy I gotta do leadership stuff :zany_face: don't burn the house down :cry: I only have 5 houses :pensive:"
Tank says: "I hope you get hit by a car. If you commies even have those :rofl:"
An says: "Haha okay, bye :wave:"
An leaves
Tank stands awkwardly in the communist house. Not knowing what to do :eye::eye::raised_back_of_hand:
12 HOURS LATER IDK
An comes back home from doing his very important leadership duties
An comes thru the door and notices something weird :eye::eye:
The house is very clean for some reason like chile where did all the dust go :sob:
An shouts: "EYY YOU STILL HERE? :zany_face:"
Tank says: "NO."
An says: "OK COOL"
"dam ig he rlly left- wait."
Tank comes out from the kitchen
Tank says: "Your house is literal GARABGE"
"It's barely BREATHABLE :rage:"
An says: "lol yeah, I just don't like cleaning things"
Tank says: ":rolling_eyes: I would tell you to hire a maid, but I doubt you poor commies could even afford one."
An says: "haha yeah :smirk_cat: anyway did your creepy radio say anything while I was gone?"
Tank says: "No."
An says: "dam okay. Going to go to sleep now :yawning_face:"
An goes upstairs to his room
THE NEXT DAY
Tank decided to sleep on the couch :raised_back_of_hand: but anyway An wakes him up :zany_face: :punch:
An says: "Hey buddy wake up :triumph: :smirk_cat:"
Tank wakes up annoyed :triumph:
Tank says: "What is it :eye::nose::eye:"
An says: "Wanna come check out some new apartment building w/ me :smirk_cat: I have to check if it's livable or something idk why they can't just hire a professional :rofl:"
Tank says: "No thank you. I'd rather not see one of your ugly commie blocks."
An says: "It isn't a commie block tho :relieved: We don't do those here :smirk_cat:"
Tank says: ":rolling_eyes:"
Surprisingly Tank decides to come along :flushed: I guess it's because he doesn't really have anything to do tho :eye::eye:
Anyway An and Tank arrive at the Apartment building. And it looks based and cool and epic and cool.
An says: "So what do you think :relieved:?"
Tank says: "Katryk has way better apartments than this one :rolling_eyes:"
An says: "Anywayyy let's go inside"
An and Tank go inside the building
An touches the walls
He doesn't know what he's doing
An says: "mhm yeah these walls seem good"
Tank says: "There's a crack on the wall :eye::eye:"
An says: "Lol it's fineeeee all Nakmai buildings have those :zany_face:"
Tank says: "Right :rolling_eyes:"
An and Tank check out the building and then get to the rooftop.
Tank says: "Oh wow, I sure do love staring at nothing but forest :rage:"
An says: "Okay? anyway I forgot why we were here."
Tank and An go closer to the edge of the rooftop because monke brain
An says: "dam there's no safety rail thingy"
"oh well"
":rofl:"
Stay in tune, Do not turn off your radio
nk gets spooked a bit
but quickly takes out the radio
An says: "Oh cool :flushed:"
"Heyy yk you should give us the radio :smirk_cat: So we can be prepared for the uh.. Aby ski"
Tank says: "Shut up :rolling_eyes: Let's hear what the freaky elmo cult has to say."
Followers of the holy order, We shall gather in Poseshchayemyy as we observe our holy warriors prepare for the final crusade (which im alowed to do inr ussia frivdfhIUFHRE) to liberate the tortured soils of the rus from its enlightened chains and embrace the shadows of the dark sun creeping across the world. Enlist today! Stay in tune. Do not turn off your radio
An says: "Final crusade :thinking: Are they gonna attack another country or something lmao"
Tank says: ":rolling_eyes:"
Light the flames.
Embrace the cold.
